The other day I was able to use the 5 steps to limit setting. I watched an aide with a young child; as he found it funny to continue to say 'no' to her commands. After about 5 minutes I looked at the aide and she said do you have any ideas?. I stepped in, got on the child's level and began the 5 steps to limit setting. Here are the steps I took...
1. Quintin* you should be sitting on the rug with the rest of the boys and girls.
2. Running around the room is not okay because the other boys and girls can't pay attention.
3. We would really enjoy you coming to the carpet to (do whatever we are doing)
Or you can take 5 in the thinking chair.
But we would really like you to join us and have some fun on the carpet.
4. Gave child about 40 seconds to think about the choices presented.
5. Did not have to enforce consequences. Child stomped to the carpet and flopped himself down.
The child was young (4) and pressing his limits. I was direct and reasonable with the child and it worked out wonderful. I gave the child space and time. SUCCESSFUL!!!
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have had to do this as well in the past with my own son. When he was 4 he pressed until my breaking point. I quickly learned that time out had no real consequence. I would have him sit in the center of the living room with no tv , no radio, no other sound other than his brain and tell him he needed to talk to his hands so they could come to a decision on how he should act. It would not take long begore I have my son back again. And yes, he did infact talk to his hands. I have heard the discussion. It was very hard to keep a solemn face but I was able to keep my authority and he was able to keep his behind. This deescalation technique really did work.
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