tone of voice

I have been really trying this year to remember to keep a calm and soothing voice when the student is in the acting out stage and is needing to be restrained or is in the Make It Right Room. I try to remember that they cannot process all of what I am saying during this time but they do process how I am talking.

I find it especially hard because I want to be firm and in control but I also need to understand that this is not the time to "reason" with the child. It is the time to get them calm so that a discussion can be had later.

Limit Setting

The other day I was able to use the 5 steps to limit setting. I watched an aide with a young child; as he found it funny to continue to say 'no' to her commands. After about 5 minutes I looked at the aide and she said do you have any ideas?. I stepped in, got on the child's level and began the 5 steps to limit setting. Here are the steps I took...

1. Quintin* you should be sitting on the rug with the rest of the boys and girls.
2. Running around the room is not okay because the other boys and girls can't pay attention.
3. We would really enjoy you coming to the carpet to (do whatever we are doing)
Or you can take 5 in the thinking chair.
But we would really like you to join us and have some fun on the carpet.
4. Gave child about 40 seconds to think about the choices presented.
5. Did not have to enforce consequences. Child stomped to the carpet and flopped himself down.

The child was young (4) and pressing his limits. I was direct and reasonable with the child and it worked out wonderful. I gave the child space and time. SUCCESSFUL!!!

Transport

I and another member of our group performed our first "official" correct transport of a student. It was nice that we both knew what we were doing and it made the transition to the MIRR easier. We used the under the arm lift and move forward. This was a bit uncomfortable. I think it was because the child was taller. After getting the child to the MIRR, the other adult and I were debriefing and we said that next time we think we'd try the elbow lift with our arms around the child's back. It was much easier to get the child down the hall and less disruptive as well. We also found out that trying to ask the child if he wanted to walk on his own only made him angier. It was just making him cry louder to be left alone and once we stopped talking to him, he continued to cry, but wasn't yelling and screaming like before. I was glad we have had the opportunity to try this out.

Leaving emotions out when dealing with kids can sometimes be so difficult, but I keep reminding myself that so many of my students feed off of my emotions. This occurs especially when I am frustrated over their behaviors. So, I have been trying to reinforce my set expectations without emotion in my voice and it seems to be going well. When using a firm, but calm voice with them along with keeping my face neutral, they seem to respond better.

Removing the Emotion

I have found remembering that I can not make a student follow my directions important. I am also finding that reminding myself to keep the emotion out of discipline is helpful in avoiding power struggles.

I have found it very easy to incorporate limit setting with Magic 1-2-3. It's very similar to what I have been doing. When I give the student a choice, I use going to the classroom stoplight as the negative. Given a minute or so to decide, the students usually choose the positive option.

Yesterday a student was upset over some classmates calling him names.Having gone to this class I realized to stop and talk with him and with the other students.You can see he felt better to talk about it and the other students apologize.